Life Changes

As mentioned in my last post, I am making some life changes--one of which is to get healthy and in shape and back into some little ass shorts.

I have been eating grilled chicken salads, asparagus, rice, cereal, water....things that are normally few and far between in my regular diet.

I'm tired from the gym and hungry from eating salads since last week (with the exception of pizza on Friday). And to make matter worse, I just went online and saw that a Chili's grilled chicken ceasar salad has 1,000 calories. Really, it does--look it up. So that leads me to question the salads I have been eating. They are probably a million and two calories, which would explain why my pants fit just as tight as they did last week though I've been eating (what I assumed was) better.

Do you know how many big macs you could eat instead of a Chili's salad and get the same calories---about 3. That's a no-brainer.

Dieting is for the birds. I don't know if I'm doing it right. At least when I eat wrecklessly, I know I'm eating fatty.

Welcome 2009

It hard to believe, but 2008 is gone and here comes 2009. I feel like I must have been in a daze the whole year because I don't know where it went. I feel like I wasted the whole year. So here is what I have planned for 2009:

1. Hit the gym. I HATE the gym, but I hate feeling chubby. So I'm going to go to the gym and try to eat healthy. However, both of those things make me a grump. So if you see a story on MSNBC about NC Burning, it was probably me that set it on fire.
2. Be nicer to the people at work and just do what I have to do. If I can't find a better job, I have to suck it up and stick with what I have. BUT, if the lady I work with shows me one more picture of her dog in a birthday hat or sitting in Santa's lap, I might have to relapse.
3. Be more social. The 3 white walls of my living room seem like cell block D.
4. Find a rich, strong, attractive man to sweep me off my feet. If anyone reading this knows of anyone, send them my way because there is a definite shortage of them in NC.

So there we go....all those things combined will either make for me jumping out of my bedroom window (which is really only high enough to probably break an ankle), or they are a sure fire recipe for happiness. Stay tuned to see which one developes.

Touching TV

Is it just me, or does the stupidest stuff on TV make other people cry too...? I mean there are the reasonable things that make me cry, like the ASPCA commercials with shivering, one-eyed dogs that has "Arms of the Angel" playing in the background. If that stuff doesn't touch your heart, you aren't human...

But that's not what I'm talking about. I mean the absolutely silly stuff. For example, "Snoopy Come Home". Oh my God. Really, do they think kids should watch that. Summary--Snoopy gets a letter from his previous owner, Lila, saying she is sick and in the hospital. For whatever reason (since I guess she gave him away to Charlie Brown sometime) the only thing that will make her feel better is Snoopy. And since Charlie Brown is acting all stank, Snoopy decides to leave.

Woe is me....they throw him a party, he's crying, Charlie Brown is crying, Woodstock is crying....and before I knew it I was dabbing a little tear. Haha. What the hell....Please tell me its not just me. I mean, I do have a soft spot for Snoopy but damn.

And then there are those occasional moments when watching some sitcom, or oh---What Not to Wear, when the makeover recipient is all emotional and "never felt they could be so beautiful". Good shit....

It's not just me right? Or do I really need therapy?

Down Time

My laptop had a little issue. Well to put it in the words of the Geek at Best Buy, I was "infected" (damn addictive social networking sites). Lovely mental picture, isn't it....

And I can't tell you how many totally entertaining thoughts for the day I had in the past week. Good enough to win a frigging BGA (bloggers guild award).

Now, she's back in action (my laptop) and I have writers' block. Beautiful..

I promise, I had some good shit to say....

Questions for the Day

Why do the landscapers for my office complex only come on rainy days? I mean really, I've NEVER seen them here on a clear day.

Why on earth do people drive 50 on the beltline when everyone else around them is going 75? And then they have the nerve to try to switch lanes....are they maybe suicidal...?

Why do people try to park a big-ass Ford F150 in a compact car space?? Don't be lazy, park where you're supposed to park. And if you have a compact car and still can't seem to place your car between the lines, stay home.

Why do people start sentences like this: "Do you wanna do me a favor....?" No, actually I don't. Do it yourself.

Why have you never heard someone say "Wow, you look like you feel really good today"--but they don't hesitate to tell you when you look like you feel horrible. What exactly are you trying to say, I look like dog meat today?? Ass.

It would apprear that I'm not the only person who deserves an award for my level of common sense....Idiots.

My Condition

I have a serious condition....and I know the first step is admitting it. So here goes.

I need medication, and my family knows it and I know it. I tried to hide my condition from others, but because I am not ashamed I'm going to tell the whole Blogger community (well the 3 people that read my little blog, haha).

I'm a looney and here's why:

1. I use 4 paper towels everytime I wash my hands at work, or when I'm somewhere with a paper towel dispenser. Not because I'm a freak and feel that I won't be clean if I don't use 4---but because I just like 4. It just feels right. Haha

2. I also pretty much always put 4 ice cubes in my drink when I'm at home. Again, no special reason.

3. I have my paperclips lined up in a neat little row in their box in my desk drawer. That's the way they are supposed to be, and the other day when I opened my drawer and saw they were messed up, I had to rearrange them immediately. Once I dropped the box on the floor at my previous office and I nearly passed out.

4. My closet is color coordinated, divided into summer & winter clothes by color. That's not a big deal to me, as I figure most people do that. But, I also have my extra hangers color coordinated, arranged from lightest to darkest since they are all different colors.

The more conscious I am of the stuff I try to over-organize, the worse I act. I mean, if I try not to be that way--it's just magnified by about 50.

I'll probably be all doped up and scared to leave the house by the time I'm 47. Greeeeaaaat.

My Fading Intelligence

I've realized that somewhere in the past 10 yrs I've gone from being a pretty smart person to being just crazy. I graduated from high school 7th in my class (t was a small class, but that's a pretty nice position). Yet, the one thing I've learned over time is that book smarts is no reflection of common sense. I think I'm a pretty level person and have a fair amount of common sense, but every once in a while I slip up and do something so stupid, that I look at myself and wonder what the hell happened to me. Today is one of those days....

This morning, I got up to go to work and came up with a brilliant idea. Since I've been late for the past few days because I had to wait for my car to thaw out, I decided to take a cup of water out to the car to pour on the windshield. That should speed things up...

Not so...or not so when you pour cold water on your already cold windshield. In a matter of about 5 seconds I had a solid sheet of ice that formed on my windshield. Yes, I know--I'm a-freaking-genius. And what makes it worse, the window wasn't even THAT frozen to start off with. It had a few scattered ice crystals, but by the time I put my mind to work this morning, it was a solid sheet. I finally got about three inches thawed out at the bottom and thought, when I take off it will probably just melt away. Afterall, I was running on time and didn't want to be late.

Again, not so...mistake #2. It re-froze the couple of clear inches and I had to pull off the road---still in my neighborhood--and let it thaw again while sitting in the parking lot of the community center..looking like a total idiot.

I must say, I should get an award.